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Poker Psychology

Psychology of Poker

poker psychology of poker communication for man and women

Now that we understand why men like poker, the next step is to use this knowledge to our benefit.  We will discuss how our differences have started from our ancestors, how it is hidden in poker and how our communication can be better. Once we can improve our communication, we can be the PokerWifeForLife.

Some disclaimers that I would like to disclose, is that I am speaking with generalities.  And there may be a couple variations which does not make this 100%.  Also, we must respect the differences, when we respect each other, we can begin.
You have probably heard about it before, men are from mars and women are from venus.  This a famous concept created by John Gray, PhD.  The idea is that women and men are from two planets, if we can understand each other, we can live together in harmony.  In his books, he portrays men and women in the early prehistoric days of hunters and gatherers.  A man’s only desire is to protect and care for his family.  A wife is to gather and nuture her family.  With time, there has been gender role confusion/blurs, the harmony has created two “worlds”-Mars/Venus thought.  It is still ingrained in us, we just need to understand it.
In Mars, or a man’s world, this is what he needs:

  • A man needs support for his power

  • His wife/mate are on the periphery of that support

  • She will follow him without questioning his every lead

Imagine this.  When he goes to plays poker, what do you do?  When he loses money playing poker, what do you think and say? And when he doesn’t talk call you on the phone for a long time, what have you done?  Lastly, a man needs advice from his wife in making plans and values giving him advice (remember it has to be solicited).  Think about what you have said and how he has reacted.   Can it be better?

Poker Supplies
Remember in Mars, poker is like the hunt, going against other cavemen and “fighting”.  Rather than using swords, the mind is used and chip stack.  At the end the day, the best man wins and your man can come home with the prize to make his woman happy and take care of her with money.  Simple, great concept right? 

Now for Venus.  In a woman’s world, this is what she needs.  Women are far more complex than men. 

  • Women need to be heard

  • Appreciated

  • need more communication

  • Husbands/mate need to have verbal expressions of care

  • Compliments and interests in her activities

If you a woman reading this and your husband is not like this, just give him the bullets to guide him to communicate.  Also, it is the chicken and egg mentality, if you understand Mars, he may react to Venus.  The action of playing poker is not Venus, the spatial math talk like odds, hand %, etc and it is away from “us”.   A woman may not instinctually like poker because it is like war, woman are “gatherers” not “hunters”.  The combat and mental fighting is not in her makeup.  At the end of the day, she wants to come home with a prize even if it costs her something.  That is why shopping, any shopping appeals to her (clothing, grocery, furniture).  This is all gathering to nurture her home.  Poker is potentially a losing and emotional flight, it is not desirable for her.  When he has lost a poker game, she thinks about the shopping she could have done with the money. 

More Mars and Venus:

poker communication mars venus miscommunication in poker marriages what men want what women want

How does this miscommunication filters into Poker:

miscommunication of men to women poker discussions how to improve poker marriages

Poker Supplies 

Discussing how our genes, hormones, and even our prehistoric ancestors have influenced us, it is empowering to have knowledge.  Now we have reason to understand the “wiring” and can change.  If we can close the gap, communication is improved and you are on the way to be a PokerWifeForLife. 

Below are examples:

miscommunication in poker marriages mars venus how to improve

How can PokerWifeForLife help:

miscommunication in poker marriages mars venus how to improve

Poker Chips & Poker Tables 

miscommunication in poker marriages mars venus how to improve

As a summary, a man needs to know that a woman wants to be listened to and a man needs to be respected. As the examples above show, you can see how these miscommunications happen. Show some of the statements to your husbands and practice how easy it can be to make minor tweaks in your communication. It may filter out of poker and into your personal life as well, good luck.

So ladies, your question to me now is either, I am ready to coach my husband OR if he is not good, how do I coach him to improve?  Either way, the next step is about coaching…You are on your way to the next step to be a PokerWifeForLife.

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Retrieved from on the World Wide Web on June 8, 2010: 

**If you feel that you someone that has a problem with gambling or addiction, please find and contact help. 

**This does not make any claims, only based on personal testimony.

**I am not making any financial guarantees



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